The answer is YES!
I at the age of 21, decided it was my time to leave the nest. Leave home, be independent and prove to everyone I had what it took to survive on my own.
Not sure if it was because the crowded household I was in, The non stop fighting I was surrounded by, or my pride that brought me to my breaking point. Ok, yes, I do know every household has their own hardships, and in no means am I saying I had it the worst. But I knew I wanted to grow. See bigger and better things.
Picture this: four grown adults in a 2 bedroom, 500 sq ft apartment. Wait It gets better. Sharing that space were 4 dogs and 3 cats. It was more or less like a zoo. Oh and the fish tank. The constant upkeep for our animals was a little ridiculous, but animals were always apart of our lives. My mother is best described as a little kid who has just found a feral animal, scoops it up, holds it tight, welcomes it into our home and loves it unconditionally. That’s how most of our animas became apart of the family. (By rescue )
So ontop of the zoo, and the crowded space, there were other obstacles. Before my two older brothers moved back home, I had my own space, my own things and my own room. And unfortunately had to give those things up to make room for family in need. At the time I didn’t care, I was happy to have my family all together, even though it was crowded. One brother took my room, the other took the living room. And I had to bunk with my mother. Now let me start by saying I used to sleep in my mothers room a lot as a child and even through some of my teenage years. After finally getting my own space then having to go back was bitter sweet.
So it goes without saying there was a lot of fighting and bickering. Not being able to give eachother the space we needed, led to a lot of screaming and shouting. I found myself staying at a friends house more than my own. Finding reasons not to go home. I wasn’t missing it anymore… I was avoiding it.
So during everything that was going on, I decided enough was enough. “I’ll find an apartment on my own, pay for it, and move out asap”, Is what I said to myself. Thinking back on it now, kinda felt like I was doing it out of spite. But I still wanted to grow. See if the grass was greener on the other side.
So I began to search for an apartment. Found one 5-10mins from home. Phoned the landlord, met up for a walk through and before you know it, I was signing my very first lease agreement. Soon after That I went back “home” packed my belongings and sorted through unused items I could take with me. Strapped a duffle bag to my back hopped on my bike and peddled my way to my new apartment.
Sitting on the floor of my new apartment, no furniture, no food and no light, thought to myself, literally scratching my head, “Did I just do that?”.
Terrified and homesick, living off of Dominos pizza, water and coffee for two weeks straight, I was losing my mind. Crying every night. Immediately regretting my decision. But it was time to suck it up, prove that what I just did was for the good and to show I capable of achieving my goals.
Fast forward one year later.. Im still alive! Still here. With an apartment I’ve grown to love. Slowly but surely it Has come together to preview what kind of person I am, adding my own personal touches. No where near done, but it’s mine and it’s evolving just as I do Everyday.
So I shared this for a few reasons. The grass is as only green as you make it. You don’t realize what you have until it’s no longer there (my family). And lastly , if you give yourself a goal, stick to it. Dont give up.
Hope you all somewhat enjoyed that read and maybe related to some of it. Take what you need from it.
I’m also aware it was very long but thanks for sticking it out!